when u haven’t masturbated in ages and
damn imma stop masturbating for a while so i can grow cannons on my back and launch torrents of water at people
and you may or may not have realized that those were…
they don’t make em like this anymore
toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”
do you ever look back at your mistakes
But srsly though
If you ever find yourself in a Disney movie
And someone or something starts being mysteriously surrounded by lime green
Stay away from the thing
Everything lime green is evil
Just remember that.
Everything lime green is evil.
Every Villain Is Lime
did u know u can have a sleep over with ur friend without having a 200 second snapchat story????? :)
sounds like you werent invited to that sleepover..
You just know nobody is reblogging this for the dog
did you hear about the italian chef who died?
he pasta way
he just ran out of thyme
here today, gone tomato
his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it
we never sausage a tragedy coming
ashes to ashes, crust to crust
there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world